special post for Faathir, Yogi and Dela.
This morning, when i woke up, i found a sms from Fatakhi (one of my classmate) which i received at 8:32 a.m. it was a bad news came from Faathir Rasyid (social student at my school, same grade as me). his mother has passed away.
and it was the second bad news within a week. three days ago, on wednesday, Fatakhi also sent me sms, told me that the father of Yogi Pramono (also social student, and same grade as me) passed away.
and again, last December 23rd, that was report book day, when our parent/s went to school and met out homeroom teacher face to face, talking about us, how was our grade, how was our behavior on that semester, or even talking about university or what major that their son/daughter want to take as me and my friends are now enjoying our final year at high school. but, on that day, i heard a bad news came from Adelya Intan Mawardani (science student at my school like me, same grade but different class). her father passed away at 4 o’clock in the morning on report book day!
not less in a month those three bad news came and made me feel so sorry for them and also afraid. yes, afraid. but also thankful.
what if it’s my father/mother? what will i do? will i cry? will i sobbing endlessly while hugging my best friends? will i… what? what will i do? will i still think about the guy who i love so much?
we’re in final year. the year which makes us desperately need supports from our dearest people. next april we’ll have national examination which will define us worth to be graduated from school or not. and next june we will have national uni entrance test. and i still can’t imagine their feeling.
17 years we live with our parents. 17 years we watch them directly. how they smile, the way they taught us basic math, the way they cook, the way they sleep, the way they angry, or even maybe the way they slap/hit us and say harsh-fully “what time is it?!!”. either it’s beautiful memories or painful memories. but those are things that we have. or what they had.
thing which make me more sad is, when later, we do the entrance test, while (if) i still have my parents, of course they will accompany me to the place where the test will be held, but what about them?
all the thoughts have reminded me to Marcella Purnama’s blog. she said that our life is fragile, and i totally agree with that. our parents came to this earth earlier than us, and no one in this world knows who will go sooner between us and our parents. not even Mayans’ i bet. only God knows.
showing affections before everything’s too late would be the best solution to lessen our regrets. show it in every kind of actions that we want to. but if it’s too late, we can still show them our affection even though ‘the one’ couldn’t watch it anymore, we can pray for them, and always remember them in every second that we spend on this earth.
17 years live with our parents but suddenly knowing that we have to lose one of them and live without one of them for the rest of our life, would be a very hard kick. i don’t know how it feels like to have the real loss, but i remember my cat died because it fell down from the second floor when i was little, i was crying hard at that time and i yelled at my mother to bring it back alive. my mom looked at me as she swept my tears. she said ” honey, we can’t bring it back when it has died” she sighed and continued “when the time comes, sometimes we just have to accept it, and you have to believe that (my cat’s name) will always love you, as you will always love it very much”
i know.. because it was just my cat it couldn’t be compared to losing somebody we love. but since it was just my cat, i know that the real loss would be so much much much (times zillion) bigger.
I would like to express my deepest condolences on the death of:
– Adelya Intan Mawardani’s father
– Yogi Pramono’s father
– Faathir Rasyid’s mother
may your fathers or your mother get the proper and the best place next to Allah swt.
Time heals the pain, but memories stay forever. be grateful, and always remember all dearest. life is fragile, so don’t waste it up and keep moving forward. everything’s fine as long as we have faith to God.